Anxiety often arises when we feel out of control and yet ironically it is often the fear of disappointing others or feeling responsible for their feelings that immobilises us from taking necessary action to look after ourselves. It is inevitable that sometimes our actions will disappoint others. To avoid this means we would have to be mind-readers of others' needs and consistently deny what we know, at times, is good for us even if it disappoints others who hold expectations of us. Remember, you are not responsible for the feelings of others. You cannot disappoint or insult another person without their permission. This doesn't mean that your actions do not influence others. It means that you are not responsible for making other people happy, nor can you avoid them being unhappy. Living a life that honours your own knowing of what is right for you is important. It is possible, and I believe highly desirable, that we do not cause people unnecessary pain. However, sometimes your actions will disappoint or result in the other people feeling pain (if they choose to label it as such). Each of us are responsible for our own feelings and the consequences of our actions and this includes 'our reactions to their reactions'.
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