Comments on: Anxiety and Depression – what’s yours about?

By: Clare Mann

Clare Mann — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:55:26 +0000

Choice is always limited by the reality of our circumstances. However, we do have choice over how we respond to things. If we can become totally responsibility for our reactions, this empowers us to see where we really do not have choice – or, we are denying we have it or fail to see a wider array of options existing.

No-one in responsible for our happiness except ourselves and no-one can make us happy. Nor can they make unhappy – we have to ‘buy in’ to it at some level. It is my experience that when we are unhappy with things or people we believe are responsible for our unhappiness, we are really unhappy with ourselves – for not choosing what we want and living with the consequences of those choices.

By: Clare Mann

Clare Mann — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 02:48:33 +0000

It is very difficult to grasp that we have choice, particularly when circumstances are such that we feel we have none at all. However, even in the most limited situations, our choice is there – even if only ‘how we think or respond to something’. Things happen around us which are out of our control but we do have a choice of how to respond to them. The more you develop a strong sense of what is right for you – aligned with your beliefs, your values and direction, you will develop an internal sense of rightness of what choices are right for you. It doesn’t mean that when you choose, you will know the exact outcome. As things change, or we get more information about something, we choose again. It doesn’t mean your first choice was wrong – you can only make choices in view of the information to hand. However, there are many times when we deny we have choice or can’t see the choices available. Society hoodwinks us into believing there are set ways of doing things that are right – choose for yourself; question things and learn to develop and listen to that internal voice of yours which says ‘Yes’. To help you, do access my new free book ‘Five things you can do to overcome life’s challenges’. http://www.thesydneypsychologist.com

By: Dian

Dian — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 02:09:07 +0000

Hi, Yes I pretty much agree that depression can be a response to our circumstances and choices in life. However, how does one recognize what the right choise is exactly? And just how much control do we have over our circumstances to make that choice? We can soon discern the wrong choise by it’s effects, and feel that we may be in the wrong circumstance.

What if one started life on a path where they had no real choice, and having not had options for a right choice did not learn what the right choice is for them? Would one then go through life trying out all the different choices available to them which would then put them in all different circumstances? What about the circumstances inherent in society that one may not have any choice over? Which then brings one to the conclusion that it could take a lifetime of making wrong choices to circumstances thus remaining in a depressed state.

Often what one would like to do or have in life in order to “feel good” may be in conflict to their circumstances and may not be available to them, and therefore not an option as a choice: There are too many variables in the things that one has control over even inspite of one’s best effort. We may know what we need to be happy and depression free, but may not be able to attain it.