Relationship counselling is an excellent way of improving the quality of your relationship. Good relationships are based on excellent communication and the ability to care about the wellbeing of another human being. All good communication of course relies heavily on our ability to identify and communicate our own needs to someone else. What happens when the stories we tell ourselves of who we are, what we should or shouldn’t want or how partners or spouses should behave, are negative? The result is conflict and misunderstanding and we become critical and judgemental of ourselves and others. This is not the basis for undertanding others and effectively and reasonably communicating our needs or understanding theirs.
‘Should, Ought and Must’ are the language we hear when talking about our partner and thus expectations arise from stereotypical and collective beliefs rather than ones we have examined and ascertained as valuable in our relationship. Grudging compromise results with no-one in the relationship satisfied or feeling understood.
CBT Relationship Counselling can help each individual identify the thought patterns and stories they tell themselves of what is going on. Thoughts affect feelings, interactions, communication and wellbeing. If they are negative, then our communications with our partner will be negative. Negative thoughts can be changed and new language adopted to create the basis for effective communication and mutual meeting of needs.