Clare’s approach to helping people create
more Clarity, Purpose and Success
Let me tell you something of who I am and how specifically I help people, like you, who are looking to make their lives different in some way.
I work with people, many of whom are experiencing difficulties and who really want to live their lives with ease and purpose. As a psychologist, I help you identify the language behind your presenting problems to determine what is really important to you, what you value, what you dream of and what is standing in the way.
From a young age, I began questioning why people do what they do and how it is that some people seem to have everything going for them whilst others don’t. Some people seem to struggle, repeat the same patterns over and over again, attract difficult relationships or situations. I wanted to know what the difference was between these people?
After years of working with hundreds of people from all walks of life, I believe the difference lies in our capacity to identify and remove the myths that influence how we live our lives. I call those myths – unquestioned assumptions – socially and culturally determined influences that say we should, must and ought to do certain things – even if it causes us conflict! The key myth is therefore the myth of limitation – the unquestioned belief that we must in some sense conform to what others expect of us – regardless of our values or dreams.
There are enormous pressures on us to do certain things, achieve certain ideals and have certain things if we are allegedly to have a life that society says is successful. However, these socially determined influences don’t necessarily fit us all and yet when we question them, we feel uncomfortable, different from the crowd, criticised or woefully inadequate. We might, of course, believe we do want many of the things that others have – and yet somehow they seem beyond our grasp!
There may be many reasons for this, finding out what is important to you as the unique individual you are. Dertimining the lifestyle you want to create is a personal affair and requires courage and dedication particularly if it doesn’t always align with others’ expectations of what you should be doing.
Psychological counselling can help you determine your direction, look at your problems as creative signals of what is not working in your life and find ways to live a successful life with ease and purpose.
I know it is possible to have rewarding relationships, a successful career or business – one that excites and develops your natural talents without burnout or overwhelm – plus time for creativity and adventure. However, when we see others create this with seeming ease, it is not without deliberate choice, action and consistent questioning of what is important and where they are going.
My own background and life-changes are testimony to the enormous rewards that can be gained when we see our lives as a creative pursuit and design it with precision and meaning. For many years, I worked predominantly as an organisational psychologist, advising organisational leaders on how to galvanise their efforts in order to create maximum profits and satisfying workplaces. I met hundreds of people who found it hard to maintain the balance between work and the rest of their lives. They consistently felt torn and, for many, despite tremendous achievements in society’s terms, they were unhappy. It was not enough for them to earn lots of money and later choose how to integrate more balance. What was important for them, whether as an employee or organisational leader, was to ask themselves ‘What do I really want my life to be about and how can I go about achieving that?’
I don’t think you are any different from the hundreds of people I have met in terms of the benefit you can achieve if you take time to answer this question – and yet your answer will be unique to you. You may not have dared yet to voice what you really want – knowing at some level that once you utter it, you will begin on a path that means change. However, if you deny the yearning to have, do and be more, then you will only be left with the pain of regret. Now is the time to identify your values and what you really want from this precious currency called YOUR LIFE.
I’ve always had a keen interest in philosophy – why do people do certain things and what is life all about – beyond day to day existence and achievement? It was my questioning that led me to study existential psychology and it resonated with my belief that we are 100% responsible for our own experiences.
I will say this again. WE ARE 100% responsible for our own experiences – that means everything that happens to us ! You alone are responsible for your experiences. This doesn’t mean that what happens to you is 100% within your power. However, you do have choice of how to respond to events, and learning and applying this, at a very deep level, empowers you to become the author of your own life.
Often we deny that we have choice, instead blaming others for our predicament or limited options. Alternatively, we find it difficult to access the full range of options available to us. This is why I combine my expertise in psychology, psychotherapy and maximising human potential, to help people to identify those options.
Simply put, I help people create extraordinary lives by identifying and removing the myths of limitation. And you only have one life – it’s not really split into work life, home life and social life. Once you find out what is really important to you, what you really want to do with your life and the blocks to achieving it, you can go on to create a great life, with everything you do infused with values important to you. So, despite how challenging your current situation is, it might just be a gift – the very thing that brings you to the place where you change the script.
I have invested hours in my own counselling to work through my own blocks. This investment has been invaluable and I encourage you to consider doing the same. See counselling as a tutorial in the art of living rather than a quick fix to overcoming your current difficulties. Don’t leave your life to chance. Decide now to design a life that matters.