Cognitive therapy (CBT) is a way of identifying typical and recurring thought patterns and establishing more productive ways of thinking. The premise on which cognitive therapy is based is that cognition’s (or thoughts) directly affect our feelings and so are directly related to anxiety, depression and associated obsessive -compulsive behaviours. If negative thought patterns can be changed and replaced with more positive, self-affirming thoughts, our well being can be increased, our horizons widened and we increase our belief in creating lives that are pleasurable and meaningful.
But why do we establish negative thought patterns? We inherit many of our ways of thinking from the people who have influenced us over our lives. That is why our parents and family are so influential in how we think, despite now being adult and probably living away from them. It is as if a template is set very early, against which we assess and process things. If we learnt to say things like ‘That will never work. I am a failure. People let you down. You can’t trust strangers’ etc, then this becomes our typical response to the world. Even if we try to change such thoughts, often our subconscious intervenes and influences the type of people and situations we attract to confirm the negative scenario.
Next time you enter a new situation, write down your typical reactions. Are they positive or negative? Self-affirming or self-deprecating? What are your reactions to difficult situations or where others have let you down? Do you blame others saying ‘Told you so – this is typical’ or do you say things like ‘This is unfortunate, what can I learn from this to avoid attracting this again?’ See how the latter reaction is positive and empowering and the former reaction keeping you stuck at the mercy of others. Cognitive behaviour therapy can assist you from naturally reacting negatively to positively. Imagine how great life would be then? What opportunities or people you could attract that could transform your life?
A fair summary, except that you’re confusing “negative” with “maladaptive”. For example, suppose you’re being bullied at work, but your maladaptive belief is that you have to be cheerful and put up with it. It’s your “positive” thinking that’s the problem here. In a situation like that, you need to learn to react negatively. Effective CBT is not about having positive feelings all the time, it’s about having appropriate feelings all the time, so that you can take charge of your own life — its happiness and also its sadness.
I absolutely agree! The positive aspect really refers to empowering individuals to see they have control over how they respond to life’s events. Society implores us always to be upbeat, looking for happiness when, in and of itself, seemingly negative emotions like depression, anger or despair are not invaluable or even undesirable. Often such emotions are powerful indicators of what is happening in our lives and in response to existential realities of being human. Becoming mindful and present to our emotions allows us to understand their language, process what is happening and choose how to move forward. Thanks for clarifying something very important in your post.