Relationship Problems – What are your expectations?

Relationship problems often occur when expectations from one or both partners impose requirements on the other.  We all have expectations but it is when they are unquestioned or couched in social and cultural stereotypes which ignore the uniqueness of people.

For example, imagine a woman says to a new partner ‘I wish you would act more like a boyfriend!’ She is buying into a belief system of what that group called ‘boyfriends’ should behave like.  These beliefs are influenced by social and cultural expectations and negate the responsibility each couple have for creating the rules around their own relationship.

It is healthy to communicate with your partner regarding your needs and how you want to be treated.  However, to appeal to the fictitious social group ‘boyfriends’ or any other group, not only causes more conflict but ignores your responsiblity for creating your own unique relationship – with its own rules.

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