Many of my clients have to be taught to ‘self-soothe’ themselves. This is a very important skill which, with adequate parenting we are taught from a young age. When distressed as a child, good parenting allows us to survive the turmoil and return to a place of safety in the world. This is an essential skill later in the life when life’s stresses or stressful events serve to overwhelm us. 
Self-soothing begins with creating an internal dialogue with ourselves e.g. ‘It is will be alright; I am going to be ok; what is the most important thing I can do in the circumstnaces?’ etc. This sort of self- nurturing avoids anxiety rising and allows us to return to a safe place within ourselves without causing harm to ourselves – or potentially others if we lash out in anger.
Many people are not able to to manage ourselves in this way – but it is an invaluable lifeskill that can be learnt. With practice, you will be able to navigate life’s challenges more effectively and communicate your needs to others better. Over time, you will come to trust your feelings for what they are – important indicators of what is going on in your life and what is or is not important to you.